What are we waiting for?

What are we waiting for? Every day, hour, minute, and even second counts. Why waste our time on something we don’t enjoy? Are you really where God wants you to be? Or are you just going through the motions and doing what you think is right or what you’ve formed your call into, the convenient way.
Quite a bit has been going through my head lately. Every Friday night when Sam and I get out of The Way, I always unload never-ending thoughts that have been prancing around in my mind. Some that have not entirely formed themselves and others just bursting from the seams, everything from theology to if I am where I should be. That’s my biggest question as of lately, the question I can’t help but wonder.
Suppose I should jump back a bit. Before I left Central America, I found myself in this place that I wish was my home and doing things I was so uncomfortable with at times, but I loved. I thought that maybe I didn’t want to go back to school right away and maybe I wanted to do mission work, more like I felt it was right. Even though I was scared of what my parents would think, I knew if God wanted to happen He would make it possible. He has actually made a lot of things possible since I have returned home, made me different and new, still always always improving. Anyways, once I got home, everything changed. I found out I didn’t have the money to go back to school for the semester and my dreams of taking a semester off were splashed against the walls at my parents request to take classes at a community college and stay home. I wasn’t really worried about staying home, but it just didn’t feel right. I was scared to fall back into past temptations that Portland has held for me and I had my heart set on something so entirely different. For some reason, to my surprise, after begging and pleading that the Lord have another plan, He put me in what I thought to be the Lions Den: Portland. He has kept me safe, out of harms way – particular friendships that needed the care were cared for and ones that needed to be let go, were let go. He created a new life for me, out of my comfort zone, but new.
As new as I thought it was it still has had a zing of comfort ability to it, because I haven’t been giving the Lord my all, to be honest, because I’m terrified. I know that His plan is so much greater and bigger than I could have ever imagined for myself, I’m just scared. I know I’m always going to be inadequate, and that He will reign over all.
God is messing up my plan for my life, what I have made His call for me to be, and I’m scared. But what am I waiting for?