Let my lifesong sing to you

Life isn't always perfect. Disappointments occur. Things don't always go the way we want.

Maybe thats the point when you have to pray that your heart is where God's is. Seeking everything about Him.

I spoke with my good friend this evening on the telephone for a very long time about everything I've been struggling with and she allowed me to remember the small things that are good and what to pray for. I like that.
"I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great job and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. " - Philemon 1:4-7

As of late I don't feel challenged in life.

I kind of think I've been expecting too much out of my life in Portland. It's never going to be these other places I've fallen in love with and I keep forgetting that. Friends here won't know me in the same ways the ones do in Kansas or Nampa or Texas or Mexico or Tennessee...
They don't know the ways that God has transformed my heart and worked in my life and made me better in Him. I wish they did. But I like the changed me.

I wish some things were different, I wish that we all meshed like we used to and hadn't grown apart like they have, but I like the person God is transforming me into. I want to be the woman that God calls. I won't give that up for anything. Even if I'm lonely, I'm not I have Jesus.

I want to yearn and not let the worldly desires cast in my heart. I want community. I hope these are the things Christ desires for me, if not, He will cast them aside.
I'm realizing more and more that my life is God's will, everything in it (I'm still figuring out what that means). I'm always thankful.
I'm continually realizing that God's will isn't always practical and I just have to get used to it, because this is a life long commitment I've made.
"...refresh my heart in Christ." - Philemon 1:20