television

I think I know why I have a problem sitting around vegging and watching tv for very long. When I was younger and during high school when I would have panic attacks I would sit and veg (sp?) in front of the tv for hours upon hours. Sit mindlessly and let the minutes, hours and day(s) pass me by. Simply as that. Sit and be involved in someone else's problems, someone else's heartache, someone else's life; bottom line: not my own.
Now, after I can't stand to watch tv for too long. Unless, I'm sick or depressed. Even then, I have trouble not falling back on texting or calling to make plans.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not running from my problems. I don't know if that makes sense to connect to this, but I can see how one might catch that line of thinking. I am trying to run from what I associate with sitting and watching tv all day.
Funny that I don't associate it with pure laziness or social awkwardness, mainly panic attacks instead - in my own life that is.
I find that I can think and sort through stuff best when either showering or running. Strange how that works.
On that note, time to sleep and hopefully dream well.