Am I growing up?

I do most of my thinking in the bathroom, mostly in the shower. I thought the need to preface that for this posting. I took a shower at 2:30 am, thats early! But I really needed to decompress about what happened this evening.

My heart got a little squished by a particular person and it hurts a bit. Though in the instance that it got squished and even now after it didn't bring me to the point of tears or wanting to act out..other than eating pizza..and I couldn't figure out why. That is in the past what I've usually resorted to, a good cry and or somehow acting out to make it better..even though that doesn't. Though this time, I haven't been interested in it one bit.

As I was in the shower, I realized that I keep hiding my heart more and more in Christ. I had stopped fully reacting to situations because I have been instantly give them to God. Every once in a while when I do react and do in turn be sad or upset about that something that happened I feel bad for not instantly confiding in God.

Is this a sign of growing up?

Several things have happened in the past month.
I got an a job offer in Kansas
I got an offer to go to China for a year
I got a couple offers to move in with friends here in Portland and in Idaho
I let go and let God

Instantly when I found out about these things, I didn't react, I just gave them to God. Most of my friends and family don't even know. Ya know, maybe it is a sign of growing up. I still don't know where He is going to take me, but He is testing me and I am willing to jump for Him.

My heart does hurt and I'm not even sure how to react or feel, besides a bit hurt, but I know that my God will be here for me and that He is holding me and has His arms of comfort around me.

Blessings to all.

Community in Christ is the Revival

"...refresh my heart in Christ." - Philemon 1:20

He has. He has been working in my heart and revived me. I am so excited for today and tomorrow and living in Him.
Thank you brothers and sisters.

Going and seeing my community in Christ really helped. Fellowship helps. I love it. I love Christ.

Hello to finishing the race well.

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for the crown of righteousness, which the Lord the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."
-2 Timothy 3:6-8

Let my lifesong sing to you

Life isn't always perfect. Disappointments occur. Things don't always go the way we want.

Maybe thats the point when you have to pray that your heart is where God's is. Seeking everything about Him.

I spoke with my good friend this evening on the telephone for a very long time about everything I've been struggling with and she allowed me to remember the small things that are good and what to pray for. I like that.
"I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great job and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. " - Philemon 1:4-7

As of late I don't feel challenged in life.

I kind of think I've been expecting too much out of my life in Portland. It's never going to be these other places I've fallen in love with and I keep forgetting that. Friends here won't know me in the same ways the ones do in Kansas or Nampa or Texas or Mexico or Tennessee...
They don't know the ways that God has transformed my heart and worked in my life and made me better in Him. I wish they did. But I like the changed me.

I wish some things were different, I wish that we all meshed like we used to and hadn't grown apart like they have, but I like the person God is transforming me into. I want to be the woman that God calls. I won't give that up for anything. Even if I'm lonely, I'm not I have Jesus.

I want to yearn and not let the worldly desires cast in my heart. I want community. I hope these are the things Christ desires for me, if not, He will cast them aside.
I'm realizing more and more that my life is God's will, everything in it (I'm still figuring out what that means). I'm always thankful.
I'm continually realizing that God's will isn't always practical and I just have to get used to it, because this is a life long commitment I've made.
"...refresh my heart in Christ." - Philemon 1:20