Is it necessary?

I think sometimes I forget that I really desire for my heart to be entirely hidden in Christ. Especially when it comes to building relationships and friendships; turn around points are key, necessary and absolutely possible. 

I'm starting to wonder if its necessary in the event of getting to know someone to tell them about your past, your heartaches, events that really hurt you, etc in order for them to get to know who are in the present and why you are that way. It opens up a whole new vulnerability to any kind of friendship you try and built. Sometimes it's easer to just let the past be the past and maybe bottle it up (not to go all Sara Bareilles on you).

I have a whole new group of friends/community and they have no idea my past and the events and situations that play into the person I am today. Which has made for some interesting relationships. I guess I suppose for being in relation and community of brothers and sisters of Christ, are those past experiences necessary to share?

I mean I understand the side of the coin that lets them get to know the side of me and why I chose to handle certain situations the way I do, but why not focus on the future and the present?

Not to say that I've ben around the river bend and back and all that jazz, we all just have certain life events or occurrences that have helped shape the people we are today. Besides the people that stood with us during those hard times..do we even ever utter a word to others?

On another note:

I usually can be really good about removing myself emotionally from situations when I know there can be a potentional problem - needless to say, that hasn't been the case lately. I am used to people bowing out early, not caring very much, not being sensitive to feelings or what have you, that I know what I need to do to make sure my heart is safe. 

I feel like I'm at this weird junction where I didn't understand my own emergency exit in bold bright letters resonating over my heard at the necessary time and somehow I can't detach and handle it in my normal capacity. Its like I've missed the last ship and the flood waters are coming in and I'm just trying my hardest to release these life events into the hands of God, but I've lost my sense of direction. I don't know which was is up, down, left, right or in between. His hands are big enough, now its just time for me to release my bags and see His grace and the God that reigns over all. REIGN IN ME.

You'll have to excuse me if certain things don't make sense. I'm writing this on a couple hours of sleep for a couple days..